Overcoming Fear of Failure

3 March 2019

To everyone who has struggled with the fear of failure: You are not alone, and there is a way to overcome it. You don’t have to be excelling, you don’t have to be faultless, and you don’t have to be impeccable. Just be yourself. Stop this boulder from rolling over you and take control. Stop worrying about what could go wrong, and control what can go right. Stop setting unrealistic goals for yourself. I am one of you. While I write this paper I’m stressing about the grade I could get and how I could fail it if I don’t make it nice, but I’m scared. I’m scared that I’m going to fail. Why would I put effort into writing this if I’m going to fail it? In order to take control of fear of failure, confidence, acceptance, and hard work must become a consistent part of your life.

First, you have to understand what fear of failure is. According to Ashley Marcin, atychiphobia is the irrational and persistent fear of failing and if you have this you often experience anxiety, an overwhelming need to escape, and feel powerless over your situation. People that fear failure are also perfectionists and often procrastinators. These are two opposite people, so when the characteristics are combined it can be very overwhelming and stressful. It is just not good for anyone. They must put extra effort into working hard and staying on task, so they can satisfy their need to be perfect.

Second, you have to set goals. According to the Mind Tools Content Team, “…goals help us define where we want to go in life. Without goals, we have no sure destination.” Setting small goals builds your confidence. Taking one small step at a time doesn’t make you overwhelmed. Failing at the first attempt of a small goal doesn’t feel as bad as failing a big goal. You can’t climb Mt. Everest until you can hike up a hill. These little failures are easier to accept, and they motivate you to learn and work harder when you try again.

There are four steps towards embracing failure, as reported by Avery Blank, a lawyer, strategist, and senior contributor at Forbes Media. Her four steps are: “Identify what you want, realize what is stopping you from reaching what you want, own your discomfort, and start feeling comfortable with the uncomfortable.” 1. Identify what you want: Sometimes fear gets in the way, and you lose sight of what you want to accomplish. You must focus and stabilize yourself towards your goal. 2. Realize what is stopping you from reaching what you want: “If you don’t see the hurdle, you can’t jump over it (Blank, Avery).” In this quote Blank paints a picture in your head. Pretend the hurdle is procrastination, and just behind it is your finished school assignment. You see what is between you and your goal. All you have to do is jump over the hurdle. 3. Own your discomfort: Fear is all in your head. You can overcome it by telling yourself that there is nothing to be afraid of. Once you do that enough times you will start believing it and acting on it. 4. Start feeling comfortable with the uncomfortable: Start small, and break out of your comfort zone a little. You have to start somewhere. You don’t want to jump in the deep end and drown. Just dip your toe in, and feel the water. Then, after you are comfortable with that, take a step. Step by step, you’ll get to the other side.

Some say that fear is good, that it builds character, and makes them want to do better. They say that fear is their motivation. Let’s say that I’m writing an essay about something I don’t care about. The fear of failing the class, not being good enough, and getting anything less than an A, motivates me to write the essay.

The reward is working hard, being confident in yourself, and not being afraid to fail. It’s not just finishing an essay. It’s overcoming the fear you experienced while writing it. Again, let’s say I’m writing an essay about something I don’t care about. Fear is a good way to get the assignment started, but you have to put in the effort, hard work, and confidence to finish it and make it your own. As stated by Mind Tools Content Team, “Failure can also teach us things about ourselves that we would never have learned otherwise… failure can help you discover how strong a person you are.” Without failure you are just stuck. Failure allows you to grow and learn through confidence, acceptance, and hard work.

Works Cited

Blank, Avery. “Four Steps Successful People Take To Overcome Fear Of Failure.”

Forbes, Forbes Magazine, 26 June 2018, www.forbes.com/sites/averyblank/2018/06/26/4-steps-successful-people-take-to-overcome-fear-of-failure/#7a9bdd74202c.

Content Team, Mind Tools. “Overcoming Fear of FailureFacing Fears and Moving

Forward.” Groupthink – Decision Making Skills Training from MindTools.com,

Mind Tools, 2016, www.mindtools.com/pages/article/fear-of-failure.htm.

Knaus, Bill. “How to Overcome Fear of Failure.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers,

31 Mar. 2014, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/science-and-sensibility/201403/how-overcome-fear-failure.

Marcin, Ashley. “Atychiphobia: Understanding Fear of Failure.” Healthline, Healthline

Media, 2017, www.healthline.com/health/atychiphobia.

john assaraf procrastination